pOst BALI peRiOd

The Story of The Century - stoned got stoned.

So, the three of us were in my hotel room, smoking weed...and we still need more. Damn, it was such a bad trip. Then, we went to our friend's room....and there were some creative guys...and they did some hard core things. So, we have an even worse trip!! Bete abessss.... Then, an idea just popped up. We saw a package of weed untouched....trus, kita tilep aja gitu loh...we just sneaked out from that room and ran! hahaha....And we had the best time back in my hotel room.

So guys....here's a tip for you all : If you need weed when you're stoned....just steal it from stoner people ! :)

miXed FeeLings

Aduch...shooting kemaren kenapa bikin capek banget yah ? Ini semua pokoknya gara2 that fu**ing talent agency !!! Minggu depan harus meeting ama dia!

Last night, got a surprising phone call....from a guy that I've been waiting for. Although masih rame2 ama temen2nya, tapi a lot better lah daripada pertemuan2 sebelumnya :). I hope we can get to know each other better lah.

Let's present P3 today...and storyboards tonight....and BALI, here I come again!!! :)

Ups aNd DowNs

Up
Last night ketemu someone that I've been expected the whole evening. We were crazy, we had fun. I still expect there's more for us...

DowN
Geeze...these talents agencies are CRAZY!! I don't know how they can break out the news that he's actually in our competitor's TVC...3 days before the shoot when he's already through treatment!! How can I go to Bali this weekend ???

Up
BRIDAL SHOWER-->Wow...this Fillipino movie was GREAT ! BRAVO !! I enjoyed it a lot.

CAn'T SLeeP

3.25 am?? Gila...udah pagi nih. Gak bisa tidur.

KENAPA ?

Coba gue analisa...

Di Dakken tadi makan kroket 2 biji, makan calamary 2 porsi, bir 1 gelas, coca cola 1 gelas, dans empet nyeruput orange jus punya Fani. I don't think this is the cause.
Di Little Baghdad tadi sharing shisha ama anak2, minum iced cappuccino 1 gelas, icip2 french fries, ngerokok sampoerna menthol 4 batang. Sandeep nyenggol mobil gue, lecet dikit, katanya dia mau ganti kalo emang perlu ke bengkel.Hmm...this is a probability.
Di rumah langsung cuci muka, cuci kaki, ganti baju. Ngerokok lagi 2 batang, maen solitaire, baca2 diary cerita2 lama. Hmm...this is most likely to be the biggest possibility.
Masuk kamar, dengerin musik, pikiran gak brenti. Berdoa, keinget temennya Kelly, bertanya2 apakah besok kita akan pergi rame2 lagi. This is also a big possibility.

Aduch...mau makan kaibashira bakar deh.

the UnspOken wOrdS

Hai….How are you ? How’s your holiday in Jakarta ? Seneng banget deh pastinya…

Hmmm….you know, I’m not that stupid yah….gue tau kok elo sengaja menghindar dari gue selama di Jakarta karena gak mau ketemu sama gue….yah sama persis seperti dulu waktu kita baru putus, loe sengaja ignoring gue.

Sebenernya gue mau tau dari mulut elo sendiri alasan kenapa elo melakukan semua ini ke gue…tapi kesempatan itu gak pernah datang, dan yang gue dapatkan hanyalah omongan2 dari temen2 loe. Yes….semua orang bilang kok ke gue betapa elo itu menyalahkan gue atas putusnya hubungan kita….bahwa elo menganggap gue ini gak punya pengertian atas segala cita2 yang elo mau kejar…bahwa gue terlalu demanding….bahwa gue ini beban buat elo di kala elo sedang menyusun karir. Sayangnya…elo gak pernah berani menyampaikan ini semua langsung ke muka gue. You left me without no defense at all…gue gak bisa bela diri atas segala omongan loe itu….elo tidak memberi gue kesempatan untuk menjelaskan ini semua. But well….I would like to think that you’re too afraid to face me in person, karena gue udah tau kalo elo adalah tipe orang yang gak berani konfrontasi…and that sometimes makes you a CHICKEN….sorry to say.

Bahkan, gue juga tau kok…selama elo di Jakarta kemarin, elo memang sengaja menghindar dari gue…karena elo takut gue akan mengungkit2 masa lalu. You know what….it’s only in your IMAGINATION….the truth is I want to meet you not to talk about the past, but to start a friendship….soalnya menurut gue the past is just a past, let it be lah…udah basi aja kalo harus dibahas lagi. Well anyway, the consequence of being a COWARD is that you will never find the truth. Tapi ya gue gak tau juga sih, mungkin aja emang elo even gak mau punya pertemanan ama gue. I will never know the truth….but at least it’s not because I’m a coward.

You’ve made my life for the past 1.5 years like a big giant unsolved puzzle that drives me nuts as hell. Gue selalu wondering “Why in the world he could do such thing to me?? Why did he just left without words and dropped me in a pit hole?? Do I really deserve this kinda treatment?? Was I really that horrible?? What was he thinking?? Should I do something differently that time?? Is he worth it? Am I wasting my time? Gila….dia seharusnya gak boleh memperlakukan gue kayak gini, harusnya dia kasih penjelasan sama gue!! Is it totally my fault?? What if….what if….what if….”….so, it was an endless ‘what ifs’.

So….I spent the last 1.5 years wondering apakah gue sudah melepaskan orang yang seharusnya bisa jadi THE ONE….apakah gue sudah berbuat sesuatu yang salah sehingga gue kehilangan seseorang yang seharusnya bisa jadi orang terakhir buat gue. But….gladly, at the end of the day….I just feel it’s the BEST thing that we BROKE UP because unfortunately you’re not man enough to become my ONE….and I found this at the soonest. But never, never even in a split second that I regret our relationship of being happened. I will never regret that I gave my whole heart to someone I love….that I was giving my 100% of me-body and soul-to you. So…please bear this in your mind : gak setiap hari elo bisa menemukan seseorang yang rela memperjuangkan elo dan rela mengorbankan dirinya demi elo…seseorang yang menganggap elo special. That person, in your life….has left.

Nyang Pertama

Akhirnya, setelah bertahun2 di-push ama temen2 untuk bikin blog (soalnya gue demen banget nulis), hari ini gue tulis posting pertama gue !! Huraaayyyy !!!

Hmmm....apaan yah yang harus gue tulis ??

Oiya, akhir2 ini, gue merasa amazed ama yang namanya HIDUP. Gila banget ! Naik turunnya itu lho...bener2 fenomenal deh, bener2 gue berasa banget kalo yang namanya manusia itu emang gak punya power apa2. Gini deh contohnya, kisah percintaan bow. Tahun 2001, saat pertama kalinya gue ngerasa patah hati karena dikhianati...dunia berasa mau runtuh. Butuh 1.5 taun untuk recovered, ampe akhirnya gue nyerah sendiri....capek sendiri..."Ya Allah, saya mah pasrah aja deh...mau diapain gue nih...". And then...BAM ! Cinta kedua. And I thought he was the ONE. He was everything to me....Nah, kalo udah pake kata 'was' neh, pasti akhirnya gak happy end...ya gak ?? Of course lah. So, it was 1.5 years ago...dan selama itu pula gue masih mengganggap he was the one dan berharap2 cemas....and it hurts a lot! And so once again gue bilang "Ya Allah...saya mah pasrah aja deh....mau gimanapun jalan hidup gue, gue percaya....tapi tolong deh, jauhkan dia dari kehidupan gue, kayanya untuk saat2 ini gak ada untungnya buat gue." And then....BAM! Is this my 3rd love ?

So....the journey continues....